A Liberated Tom Goss Says “Not My Problem” to Real-Life Ex in His New Single and Music Video
By Mike Bahr | Photo by Austin Wondolowski of MondoPhoto
Tom Goss is publicly and comically washing his hands in “Not My Problem,” the second single from his ninth studio album, Remember What It Feels Like. The pop/rock banger is based on Tom’s true-life five-year relationship with a very impressive Englishman who was not all who he appeared to be. “I fell in love with a charming but criminal con man who is now in prison,” Goss says, explaining a painful experience in which he was gaslighted and manipulated into believing that it was his responsibility to help heal a man that he loved. “When his lies were finally exposed, I realized that the vast majority of his problems were fabricated to control and take advantage of me.” Goss is supporting the release of the single and video with concerts in San Francisco, Seattle, Palm Springs and other cities to be announced. Tom Goss’s “Not My Problem” is available April 8th on Spotify and all digital platforms.
“He still writes me on a regular basis,” Goss reveals from his Los Angeles home. “I have a year and a half of letters from a British prison in my house. I don’t read them, but I don’t throw them away either. It’s weird.”
He views the song and video as a “Dear John” letter to his ex; one that gives him the liberation—and last word—that he has longed for. The video is directed and styled by Michael Serrato, who Goss worked with previously on videos such as “Son of a Preacher Man” and “Nerdy Bear.” It was filmed on a prison set at Le Chalet in Los Angeles and in Tom’s own Sounds Awesome Studios in Inglewood. The video stars Goss, Dean Elex Bais as the lying ex, and drag queen Meatball as an overly amorous prison guard.
“Watching Meatball terrify Dean was a pure delight,” says Tom of filming the video. While the video is campy and comical, its message is a serious one. “It’s a declaration that my ex and his lies did not and will not break me. I’m resilient and strong and I will continue to believe in people and be a positive force in the world.”
Tom Goss has been singing for more than 15 years, creating a large and varied body of work (nine albums, five EPs, 40 music videos) that tracks his development both as a man and as an artist. He has transformed the facts of his life—a troubled teen and college wrestler; a student studying to become a priest; touring the country as a gay singer-songwriter; falling in love and getting married; the heartbreak of infidelity and the challenges of an open marriage; and, now, being conned by a lover with a secret life—into songs of remarkable range, strength, and beauty. His songs have been featured on ABC, HBO, Disney+, and in several films. His music videos (including “Son of a Preacher Man,” “Breath and Sound” and “Bears”) have been viewed more than 20 million times.
His latest studio album, Remember What It Feels Like, reflects on where Tom has come from and where he finds himself today: a 42-year-old living in Los Angeles who cherishes all of his memories, both sweet and bitter, as essential parts of his story and identity. The album is an expansive 15-track collection of happy and light-hearted pop songs punctuated by beautiful ballads and raucous rock. Featured artists include comedian and musician Deven Green, hip hop diva Maya La Maya, wry chanteuse Anne Reburn and Goss’s longtime collaborator de ROCHE.
“Not My Problem” is a bit angstier than other tracks on the album. It acknowledges the heartache and pain Tom Goss experienced after learning the truth about his ex’s largely fictional life, but also acknowledges that there is a day to every night, a peak to every valley. In true Tom Goss style, the singer manages to find a bright spot in the experience. “If there’s one positive thing I have learned from my ex, it is that reality is whatever you construct it to be. If he could create a fanciful life out of nothing, any of us can. It’s actually kind of empowering to believe that we can all dream big, take chances and risk it all.”
“If choosing to live in a distorted reality helps you to keep your spirits up, that’s fine. It’s not my problem. But don’t hurt people: that’s not cool. You can create whatever reality you want without being a douchebag.”
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